hartland

An ongoing news and commentary by Don L. Hart.

Name:
Location: Kansas, United States

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Living Life Forward.

Decades ago, when I was still a very young man and nearing the end of my high school days, an older acquaintance passed on a pearl of wisdom that I have often thought about through the years. He had recently been discharged from the Army and, realizing that I was about to graduate and was heading toward the Navy, was probably reflecting upon his own life.

"It's funny," he told me. "You're never really ready for an experience until after you've already experienced it. You don't really have the knowledge and maturity to make the most of it until it's over."

I remember he laughed a little then, and went on to explain. "When I graduated from high school, as I was sitting there through the graduation ceremony, I realized that I was just then ready to go through high school and make the most of it.

"The same thing happened when I got out of the Army. As I was putting on my uniform for the last time, so I could fly home, I knew that then I was finally ready to go through my military experience."

Of course, he went on to say, you can't live life that way. You have to enter high school as an inexperience freshman and you have to enter boot camp as a raw recruit. But he and I both - even as young as I was - fully realized the irony of the situation. You have to live life running forward, blind and naive. There are no second chances.

Since that moment, sitting in a kitchen and listening to one of the most significant lessons of my life, I have passed many mileposts and as I passed each one, I have always found that lesson to prove true. I have survived high school graduation, boot camp, military life, war, college, graduate school, numerous relationships, a dozen jobs and a half dozen professions - and I always knew at their conclusion that if I could only do it over again, I could do it right. This time I would avoid the pitfalls, make the right choices and cherish all the proper moments. This has especially become evident since I married and started raising our children. And it has especially hit home lately since my own son will graduate from high school in a month. Far more than happened with his older sister, and probably more than will happen with his younger sister, as I've helped my only son select a college and begin navigating the bureaucracy of higher education, I can't help but wonder where the years went. Yesterday we were making a tent in the living room out of sheets and chairs and today I'm advising him on college programs and scholarships.

But I guess that's all we can do. We can't live life over; not even a portion of it. But we can try to pass on our experience to the next generation and hope that somehow they find it useful when making their own decisions.

Whether at my job as a student advisor, or at home with my own children, I recognize the responsibility that places on all our shoulders. But I also realize the opportunity and the blessing.